While he’s not the first new addition to the roster of eligible bachelors around Pelican Town in Stardew Valley, with Shane having been added in version 1.1 of the iconic farming sim to bring the number of single men in town up to six, Clint might be the one that most surprised the fans.
It’s not often we’ve heard calls for being able to romance the town blacksmith who fixates on bartender Emily, but ConcernedApe will implement Clint as a romance option when version 1.7 releases. Though I’m glad for new content… Clint? Really? I’d rather date almost anyone else!
Almost anyone, that is – the only man in town I’d take Clint over is Pierre, who sucks.
8
The Dwarf
He’s A Neat Little Guy
We had a ton of unique concepts for singles in Stardew Valley during the lead-up to the announcement of Clint as a bachelor, but the Dwarf was one I laughed at particularly hard, because people thought to include the literal inhuman cave dweller before they included a staple member of the community.
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Stardew Valley is a compelling, fun indie game you can spend hours on. You’ll be given the options of a few farm maps, and we’ve ranked them to help.
He can do the same kind of material giving, he’s learned and exotic in that he speaks a language you’ll need to teach yourself to speak, and at least if nothing else, he’s not super weird about the local women.
7
George
Should Anything Ever Happen To Evelyn, That Is
Evelyn is practically the entire town’s grandmother, at the same time as caring for her wheelchair-using husband George, but the pair have long been getting up there in age. Nobody lives forever, and should the time come for Evelyn first, plenty of people were ready to shack up with the oldest man in town in her stead.
A golden year poly relationship was mentioned here and there during the lead-in to Clint’s announcement, too. If I’m given the choice between George and Clint? Don’t call me your wife, Alex; call me your grandma.
6
Mr. Qi
It’s No Mystery Why He’s Better
Mr. Qi is one of the most cryptic and mysterious characters in Stardew Valley, often having you solve riddles that take full seasons’ worth of work to come to fruition, sending you on some pretty involved end-game quests, and generally raising eyebrows in the community.
But I saw people contemplating him when ConcernedApe said we’d get a new romance option in Stardew Valley 1.7, and it seems like you could do a lot of odd things with him in that regard. Solve a quest to earn hearts? See him move to Pelican Town before long? I’d be much more interested to learn more about him than Clint.
5
Gus
I’d Rather Take A Tall Glass Of Gus
While I may never forgive myself for typing that subtitle there and making both of us read it, I won’t even begin to apologize for putting Stardrop Saloon owner Gus on this list of Stardew Valley characters I’d sooner date than Clint.
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Gus is always pretty nice when you talk to him, and we see him to be a giver in all regards: he opens the Saloon to the town residents when the green rain comes, and he offers Linus some help when he catches him in the trash. What has Clint ever done besides visit that Saloon to stare haplessly at its bartender? Give me the other bartender before you give me that weirdo, please.
4
Willy
Good Old Golden Years
Willy was one of the more popular options I saw come up when fans discussed who might be the new bachelor in Stardew Valley, with plenty of us yearning for a quieter life by the sea with the warm-hearted sea dog.
He stays out of the way most of the time, he’s a hard worker, and he lives a peaceful life by the sea. Willy’s the one who helps you get out to Ginger Island when you first start going there, and he ferries you back and forth on command when the jungle calls. What does Clint do besides show up at the Resort he didn’t help open and talk about how he forgot to cut his toenails?
3
Demetrius
Robin Can Do Better Anyway
Stardew Valley fans have been desperate to break up Robin and Demetrius for the full decade that the game has been out now, with plenty of heart events between the two offering a glimpse into the mundane parts of domestic life, which may occasionally include arguing.
I would mostly be taking Demetrius to free Robin up to date someone cooler than him, but Demetrius has his charms as well. I respect his curiosity in the green rain, and he’s always willing to help you get an early start on the Community Center by transforming the cave on your farm. Clint could never.
2
Linus
Get That Man A House!
Linus was also included in the poll of bachelors in Pelican Town that ConcernedApe was considering implementing when it came time for a new romance option, and he took third of the roster, with plenty of people feeling oddly charmed by the wild man.
He lives in a tent up in the Mountains, and plenty of us want the option to get Linus a house, like we do with the house upgrade for Penny and Pam after you’ve earned enough gold, but if we’re not going to get a philanthropic option that doesn’t involve kissing at the altar, then Linus, I do.
1
The Wizard
Who It Should Have Been
The Wizard took second in the poll of the bachelors we’d want to date, and I’ve always been oddly enamored by him. He’s connected to the arcane and he clearly knows his stuff when it comes to languages and buildings alike, so the Wizard may have been a sleeper romance option.
My biggest problem is that he took a very clear second place in that poll, earning more than five times as many votes as Clint! ConcernedApe has to be trolling us when he decided on Clint over the Wizard, but I never thought we’d get another bachelor at all, so maybe the Wizard’s heart if yet to be on the line.
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